Ah, the gym...scene of punishment! How much more torture can there be than to be forced to jump over boxes, climb up ropes to the ceiling and do other strange things in the name of sport!

The gym was the stuff of legends for it was there that Dai Roberts was rumoured to take the box (that thing that you had to jump over) apart, put errant first years inside it, and then make you stay in there while the rest of the class thumped and jumped over you for a whole period. I never actually saw this happen but I could believe anything of Dai. I do remember him taking hold of Brains and hanging him up on the coathooks in the changing rooms by the collar of his blazer - I can't remember exactly what crime this punishment was fitting - daring to breathe while Dai was talking probably. And there were many occasions when he would have the whole class chanting Rees Rees Cowl Piece (or some such words) for no apparent reason at all!

He wasn't the only teacher who was experts in medieval torture - most were experts in the tweak of the sideburns where a lock of hair was twisted round the finger to bring excruciating pain to the offender. Nearly all were expert shots with a board rubber and/or a piece of chalk - I think this was merely practise for the staff v school annual cricket match. In fact the staff v school annual rugby match was seen as the only possible way that pupils could get their own back on the teachers!

And who can forget that day that we decide to pinch some small cube shaped plastic samples from a chemistry lesson so that we could fire them at each other from elastic bands. Well, anyone could forget that, but could we forget that the Chemistry teacher was Mr Peel, about six foot four who played prop forward for Notts rugby club. He demonstrated his sense of fair play with a plimsoll and delivered six of the best on our backsides - ouch!

Hodgie and I also fell foul of Mr Peel when struggling with our chemistry homework. See the picture below! Hodgies paper said "see me, have you copied off Lewington!"

There were more subtle forms of punishment than violence however. Miss Wood used to go in for humiliation. I remember Bert having to stand on a chair in front of the class with no socks on for a whole lesson. His crime was coming to school with the wrong coloured socks on! Being sent out of class to stand in the corridor was fairly standard - Wendy Walker was a regular visitor to the corridor outside the sixth form common room, when as a second year she was regularly sent out of the lesson next door. As sixth formers with free periods we used to take it in turns to go and keep her company.

Of course the master of sarcasm was TAF O'Toole, but then he had to be, as an English teacher. I'll never forget his sneering insults and sarcastic wit aimed at his sixth form English Literature group. I say this with total admiration as I copied it totally and I'm sure that he probably taught Ben Elton all he knows!

Maybe we should have a list of the top ten punishments - please email me any others you can remember!

Ah...Chas Bowles....shame on you! You used to pick on Angie Ward because she used to blush so easily. Then when she'd turned bright red you used to tell the whole class to turn round and look at here which made it ten times worse! I'm not so sure that generating heat from an embarrassed fourth year is classed as a legitimate physics experiment!